I had a unique opportunity to observe something between two children at a family event recently. I’ll make this as brief as possible.
It’s not uncommon for a couple of the nephews and nieces to prefer (more lately than ever) to stay around the dinner table after the meal and talk with or just listen in on the conversation with the ‘adults’ as opposed to running to the basement to play with toys or watch whatever video is currently all the rage.
A couple days ago this occurred again. As these two children join in conversations with the ‘grown ups’ more frequently the topic of their schooling or neighborhood friends comes up. I believe since the ‘children’ are showing more interest in being part of this social group during family events it’s only fair to ask them questions so they can share what they find interesting or important. (and incidentally, it’s usually more interesting to hear their stories than what we adults discuss).
I marveled the other night as one child had the attention of everyone in the room while regaling us with a tale of a recent vacation the family had taken. Also of interest to me was how perturbed he became when his cousin wasn’t paying attention to his story, in fact he seemed to think (and I rather agree) that this cousin, sitting by at the opposite end of the table was being quite rude. Distracting others who were trying to listen, playing with the latest hand-held video game device, or perhaps he was texting a friend on his mobile telephone, I don’t know for certain.
During the course of the first child’s story he made several passive attempts to allude to his displeasure at the second child’s rude and distracting behavior. He even became more emphatic as the second child began to distract the others around him with sideline comments, giggling and laughter. He paused at several points during his story, turning his gaze directly at the second child who seemed not to notice the first child’s disdain.
The reason I share this story is because I thought it supremely ironic that this ‘first’ child became so unnerved and annoyed at the ’second’ child’s rude and distracting (one might even say disrespectful behavior) while he was telling his story of the recent family vacation.
I found it ironic because the ‘first’ child had behaved in exactly the same way as the ’second’ child only minutes before when the ’second’ child was telling the group of a paper he had recently written and received a good grade for at school. The ‘first’ child didn’t seem to see the irony. Nor, do I believe, did he realize that the ’second’ child was seemingly only behaving in this ‘distracting and rude’ manner during the ‘first’ child’s story as a sort of way of trying to teach the ‘first’ child a lesson about how rudely he was treated during his own story.
The moral, if you’ve been able to follow this allegory is we all need to learn that what we have to say or share is very rarely (if ever) going to mean as much to others as it does to us but if we want someone to show interest in our life, stories or what we may have to teach others, a goodly amount of respect shown in advance goes a long way to receiving the same in return.
This is something I observe and [hopefully] learn from each time I’m in Lodge and don’t have much interest in what others are sharing. Sometimes the meetings wear on. Sometimes Brothers don’t know when to stop talking. Most often it’s because they are passionate about the subject they’re sharing. Sometimes it’s because as officers of the Lodge they’re charged with addressing the more tedious aspects of what it takes to operate a Lodge properly. The least I can do is listening respectfully and not engage in sideline conversation. Every Brother and Friend I have in Lodge deserves that much.
And if they talk too much, too often, perhaps I should make a larger contribution toward the purchase of a Lodge Monkey to speed things along.
S&F,
Jubelo
